Why do our customers keep coming back to CoffeeCrush?
We are not quite why our customers love CoffeeCrush! Maybe it’s the fresh aroma that entices the room? Or maybe someone in our shop delivered a massive fart and it produces the lovely enjoyable smell of rich coffee. Our ventilation system was specifically designed to circulate the fresh aroma of our coffee or farts. Works fairly well I must say.
Or maybe it’s our freshly baked pastries that pair awesomely with a good dark cup of joe? Probably, they taste extremely fabulous that you’ll crave them in the morning, afternoon, evening, and in the middle of the night at 3am. We have laced our pastries with a secret ingredient that is more addicting than meth. Maybe it’s the actual meth? We are sure you`ll enjoy them and the future diabetes it brings because each pastry contains approximately 140 grams of sugar.
Or maybe our customers love our fancy designs by our goth looking barista? Our baristas are all trained to produce the most fancy-est, fun and happy designs in your coffee. Our designs last longer on the surface too, that’s because the motor oil we use is 5w-30 and it’s extremely light. We recommend not to smoke or light fireworks near or while drinking our coffee.
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This is Hugo, he knows his stuff. He knows that picking more red beans are more fun than picking yellow beans. Sometimes he swallows a few of them to provide him extra energy throughout the day. Hugo is a billionaire but he will always deny it. He has learned how to extract a new type of cocaine from these beans.
CoffeeCrush provides high standards in the manufacturing process. Our 3-step procedure is simple, just look at this chart. I wonder if we could brew our coffee beans in the microwave oven? Maybe we can make your coffee that way instead. This would save so much time and money.
A coffee bean cherry is structured like our human body. We have skin, epidermis and endosperm too. I wish we had a Parchment coat. Seems like the coffee bean is well housed. Someday coffee beans may evolve and perhaps grow arms and legs just like us humans too.
Every bean picked from the field is filthy so we need to wash them. You never know what type of micro organism might be lurking to jump out of a coffee bean. The bathing process may take up to 15 hours per every 2 pounds of beans. We provide the workers with Netflix on a jumbo screen as a perk.
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Indulge with our large variety of pastries and baked goods. Just looking at these pictures makes me want to bite my arm off. Select 10 different style Croissants. 6 types of pies, 8 categories of freshly baked cookies and cream puffs.
CoffeeCrush signature tarts are out of this world! Literally, they are because we don’t know where they came from. We didn’t bake them, they just show up in front of our door every morning. The house specialty is the Tiramisu topped with a fresh Almond. However, the almond is a horrible thing to top off a tart so feel free to throw them at other customers in our
If you are on a budget and can’t afford our single 12.95 pastries, these day-old pastries still taste great. No staleness at all! Cardboard got nothing on this stuff. In fact, if you are trying to cut down on sugar you may want to try cardboard. It`s a great taste alternative. If you add jam you probably won’t be able to tell the difference between our day-old (actually 3 days old) pastries and eating our cardboard delivery box.
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CoffeeCrush professional baristas are ready to deliver your desired coffee with the utmost care. Hate lines? Use this app to order your coffee in advance. Specify the estimated time you will arrive for pick up and we will brew your order at a timely fashion. Our plutonium heat ray will keep your coffee warm. Yes plutonium! Don`t worry our proprietary protective coffee sleeve shields 80% of the radiation.
Doesn’t matter where you are located, you’ll get your order faster than ever! Our super fast drones have travel speeds up to 130 mph! Controlled by A.I. GPS these drones are capable of landing almost anywhere, on water, hills, and even on top of your vehicle while you are driving. However, if you request the special mobile to mobile landing please consider purchasing our Spillacade Insurance! Never let a horrible coffee street spill ruin your day!
Find the closes CoffeeCrush near you! Our locations have been clustered together intentionally. So if one of our CoffeeCrush shops is crowded just walk a half a block for another one. Free WiFi at most locations. Our facilities are kept extremely clean because they are extremely empty most of the day and evening.
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If you read the content of this site, there were no intentions on being serious. This company "CoffeeCrush" is fictitious. Images were borrowed for demo purposes. Please enjoy your coffee! All content on this demo site is for company internal use only.
This webapp was build within 3 hours from scratch! Without any prior knowledge, images or content I was given the topic of "Coffee". Images were collected from the web and our stock. CoffeeCrush logo was created in less than 5 minutes. All text content was typed on-the-fly "freestyle" with no intentions to be offensive, so please relax and sip some coffee!
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